Trial and Error

Up till now, I realize one thing: The Repeated Test is the Ultimate Test.

What is that exactly?

Maybe… there is a trial that sticks around like superglue from the start of your hijrah up to now. Well, I have dozens, but very much bothered by one that never goes away. It can possibly be about family, friendship, love, money, time, and the list goes on. It will pay you a visit, without being invited, repeatedly, no matter how you try to resolve it the best you can the first or second or third time it came to say hello.

As for me, it keeps haunting me from the first time I decided to entrust myself to the blissful life of Islam. I wondered why. Why does it have to be that specific test? Why, out of 7 billions of people on earth, was I chosen to be tested with such distinct trial?

After a lot of reflections, I came to a point where I concluded that because I have not yet perfected myself in that matter, Allah is helping me to grow in that aspect of life. So He entrusts me with it. If I am making the right choice or not, that is for me to learn. Will I find a trail to the best solution, or will I just give in?

Just like trial and error that I used to do in Maths years ago. Figuring out different ways to solve a given problem, and out of all the methods used, the most effective is the one you will use if you ever encounter it again in the future.

We grow to learn.

We grow to think.

We grow to extract the best conclusion.

I was, at the point of giving up…until I realize 2:286.

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

Thus, F5 is exactly what I need.

Thus, finding the right solution is what I am yet to accomplish.

Thus, giving up is never a choice.

Thus, Allah will not look at the result, but your love and sincerity for Him.

And thus, I will keep praying. Praying that Allah will guide me in attaining the best ticket to His path. And, I ask you to pray for my struggles as well.